Seeking Permanence

Seeking Permanence in an Impermanent World is one of the causes of our suffering.

Every thing is transient, but we want ourselves to be permanently happy. Like everything in nature, humans and their behaviors are not set in stone, they change over time and the emotions are the most transient ones. When everything around us changes, how do we expect us not to be influenced? 

But still we expect a degree of permanence from close relationships. We seek relationships that offer us permanent support and a sense of belonging. But isn't that a big ask? Perhaps we need to understand that we will falter as it is not in our nature to be so. Perhaps, we need to understand that we are fickle and so must be forgiving to others and oursleves. Maybe if 80% of the time we are there that's more than good enough. 

How beautiful if you can find one such human relationship, that tries to challenge the nature. 

Unconditional Love ... not always , but most often.

Seeking Attention

Media and Entertainment, Politics, Advertisers, Influencers, Work, Family and Friends .. everything and everyone wants your attention and time. 

Do you have the strength to exercise your freedom to choose to whom and to what you want to give your attention ?

Dialogues from Hindi movie "Sparsh"

Dialogues from the Hindi movie Sparsh (1982 ) :

Following is the meaning of a few dialogues from the movie I found insightful:

1. उन्हे बेचारा मत कहो
2. बार बार केहने से बात का मूल्य कम हो जाता हे
3. किसी के केह्ने से हम चोटा या बडा नही बन जाते हे

Someday I will copy the actual dialogues word-to-word over here

Life is a Journey and Not a Destination

I had heard this many times in the past and I thought I had grasped it's meaning, but I was incorrect. Only recently did I realize the essence of it. 

For a while I thought that if I reach a milestone in my life I would be happy and content, but that never happened. Once I reach the milestone, there is happiness and contentment and a sense of accomplishment for a brief period of time and then the mind wants to move to something else : a new pursuit. So I realize that as we pursue our different goals as part of our lives, we will collectively spend only a brief amount of time in those goal-achievement/fulfillment periods. Much of the time will be spent in the pursuit or the journey. So its a wise thing to enjoy the good and the ugly parts of the journey and it's wiser to chose those journey's that are meaningful to us. It would be very sorrowful to chose a journey which keeps you unhappy for most of the time, only for the sake of reaching a destination that is still meaningful. 

We will never arrive to a place and stay there content/happy forever. 

The Joyful Person

 No amount of fame/wealth can match the state of a Joyful person.

The Importance of Being Earnest

"The Importance of Being Earnest" is a play written by Oscar Wilde and I remember reading this in my middle or high school. My first encounter with the word "Earnest" was this and the mind has permanently linked the word with the above sentence. I don't remember anything about the play anymore. Perhaps I will read it again one day, but that's not the subject of this blog post.

This is the meaning of the word "Earnest" in its adjective form:

Ardent in the pursuit of an object; eager to obtain or do; zealous with sincerity; with hearty endeavor; heartfelt; fervent; hearty; -- used in a good sense.

I am realizing that all it matters is whether I have been earnest in all my dealings. How the outcomes are don't really matter as long as I have earnest effort into the dealing. 

I desire this to be my personal standard. It will take practice, but this is my yearning.

Ho'Oponopono : Notes from the Book

Following are my notes from the book HO'OPONOPONO : The ancient Hawaiian practice of gratitude and forgiveness by Carole Berger.

1. Law of Acceptance: No one in the world knows the entire big picture of how things or the world operates and how things are interconnected. So we should accept that we don't have the full picture and so we cannot control everything. This acceptance gives a bit of peace. And this also gives us an opportunity to be OK with being wrong at times.
2. Law of Gratitude: Being thankful for what we already have helps us mentally and not be resentful for what we don't have. 
3. Law of Manifestation: Thoughts have a lot of power. They shape our reality and our attitude towards life is driven by our thoughts. If we have positive thoughts we will see the world in a positive way and if we have negative thoughts we will see the world in a negative way. The process of thinking helps in manifesting those into reality. The more we think about a certain thing the more it helps in turning those thoughts into reality. The more you think about it the more you are likely to act on it and make it happen. The energy around us also changes and helps us with the manifestation of those thoughts.
4. Law of Forgiveness: Alleviate wounds from the past and enables us to move forward in life without this weight on our shoulders.

The story about an old Hawaiian elder following a bird to help him spot the best bark for making a canoe was nice to read.

The artwork in the book is really great. 

For some reason the book has nudged me into consciously engaging with the world.

Curiosity + Drive

 "People can help you in many ways throughout life, but there are two things nobody can give you: curiosity and drive. They must be self-supplied.

If you are not interested and curious, all the information in the world can be at your fingertips, but it will be relatively useless. If you are not motivated and driven, whatever connections or opportunities are available to you will be rendered inert.

Now, you won't feel curious and driven about every area of life, and that's fine. But it really pays to find something that lights you up. This is one of the primary quests of life: to find the thing that ignites your curiosity and drive.

There are many recipes for success. There is no single way to win. But nearly all recipes include two ingredients: curiosity and drive."

source : https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/april-25-2024

Our Differences are mere Preferences

If we view our differences (in various aspects, the things that seem to separate us from others) as our preferences (or our tastes, rather than our identities), I think there would be a lot of harmony between us. 

In general we entertain and accept our different preferences and tastes more readily and don't feel threatened by those differences.

On Aging : By Arthur C Brooks

One of my favorite columnist is Arthur C Brooks. Publishes articles mostly related to human psychology. 

A few lines from his recent article : 

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/12/happiness-time-aging-mood/676964/

I have seen this phenomenon in people close to me who, in late middle age, made a choice to practice character virtues that enhanced life for others. Sure enough, in old age they were absolute superstars of goodness, remembered as such after death.

Start each day by imagining the person you want to be as the years go by: not ruminating on grievances, not wasting time being grumpy, and sharing words of kindness and encouragement with whomever you come across. Notice how this imagined version of yourself makes you feel. The idea is to have this vision become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then, every night, think about ways you can be better still in these areas the next day.

And towards the end: 

And therein lies the last lesson to help you prepare for your golden years: Start appreciating seniors more for their natural gifts. The practice of seeing yourself valuing old people will reprogram the way you think and feel about your own aging. That will allay your fears, and free you up to get on with the important business of becoming happier.

For some reason I have always connected with older folks, sometimes there's an urge to ask them questions as to how their life experience was, what were their good choices, what were their regrets, with the intent of learning from their experience.  But with a little thought later, I realize that its good to listen to their stories just with the intent of listening ... just like it would be interesting to listen to younger kids  describing their wonderful world... and not with the intent of learning. You could definitely borrow some lessons from their lives, but you got to live the life as it comes with a mix of planning ahead and a mix of being open to experiences and sail through the tempests as well as the placid blue waters of the ocean of life.