The town of Atherton

 I live very close to the town of Atherton and go for my once-a-week run around that neighborhood. Almost every house is large and has a large amount of outdoor area with many trees including old and huge oak trees and redwoods and the scent of the green leaves and flowers, birds chirping. Its like a haven for the birds/squirrels/other creatures/trees which will not find good shelter in the neighboring cities. They are allowed to grow as they like (mostly) in this area. So it's a boon for them. I like walking/running around this neighborhood.

The other side is that why have such large houses and open areas instead of building the necessary housing in Bay Area, which is so expensive in-terms of housing prices and rents. 

Depends on from which point you are looking at it. 

There are so many facets to every situation. Often people have a very narrow perspective and believe their's is the more qualified perspective. How do you find out something that works ok for all involved and not just for a few. How do you rise above your own selfish interests to understand others's perspective's ?

Best Introductory article on Spark

One of the best introductory article to Spark which describes how Spark internally works by giving a simple example and mapping the concepts to it. 

https://towardsdatascience.com/understand-spark-as-if-you-had-designed-it-c9c13db6ac4b

Our first trip with Akshara (Jan 2015)

Publishing the notes that I had kept regarding our first trip with Akshara in Jan 2015. The trip was planned by Anitha as a way to celebrate Akshara turning 4 months old.

Just keeping the notes as is. Someday I might want to edit.

Day 1 : Jan 29, 2015

• First flight journey for Akshara. from SFO to Miami on American Airlines flight
• We were worried how you would take it but you handled it well
• You were looking out of the window while being fed
• Started at 4.30 am to the airport and parked the car at the airport
• You cried for a short time in the flight (at the beginning of the flight) and later were ok. Played and slept in the flight
• This was your 4th month birthday
• Rented a car and drove to the apartment that we got from Airbnb. Chose this place since we wanted to cook as your grandmom was also there
• The apartment wasn't good. It was located in North Miami Beach
• The whole place (Miami) reminded me of India with Coconut, Papaya and Mango trees around
• Didn't do much the rest of the day as we were tired of the flight journey and the time difference between SFO and Miami
• Picked up some groceries from Walmart nearby and slept
• Mom and Grandma took care of you during the night as usual

Day 2 : Jan 30, 2015

• Drove in the morning to Everglade's National Wildlife Refuge
• It was a little hot
• There's water everywhere in Florida
• Unfortunately realized we couldn't drive inside the park
• Luckily found alligators at the stream near the parking area. Took a picture of you with them. I was excited to see them in the wild. Quite close by and they were not doing anything other than lying idle and sleeping
• Also spotted some turtles, fish and birds
• Had lunch there and headed off to the apartment as there wasn't much to do
• Picked up some hashbrowns from a Dunkin Donuts. Your mom's fav
• Then headed off to Crandon Park
• Drove through the downtown and reached Crandon Park. It was a nice island connected by a bridge
• Driving through the bridge gave a good view of the highrises in downtown Miami. Your grandma liked the view
• Unfortunately it was 5.30 pm by the time we reached Crandon Park and so we had to leave and we drove to Ocean Drive instead
• The downtown was alive with music and you liked it a lot
• We walked along Ocean Drive along the restaurants
• Went to the beach near Ocean Drive in the moonlight and both Mommy and I wet our feet in the warm water of the Altlantic Ocean
• Had dinner at an Indian Restaurant. The dosas were good and we ate to our stomach full

Day 3 : Jan 31, 2015

• Got up early to drive to Keywest but it was 10.30 by the time we checked out and started driving. It was supposed to be a 4 hour drive. We planned to stop at some placed along the drive of 1 south
• Stopped at "Robert's is Here" farm where we finally found some coconuts and other topical fruits. Bought many fruits there. There was sugarcane, mangoes, papaya, sapote, guava, starfruit and many others
• There were farm animals along with Tortoises and Emu's
• It was a nice place and you seemed to enjoy it
• Later stopped at Islamadora Marina where we clicked many photos with the turquoise water in the background
• It was 6.30 pm by the time we reached the hotel
• Unfortunately we couldn't reach in time to get into water in the beach in Keywest. Decided to go in the morning to the beach

Shooting Stars

I am staying at this beautiful meditation and ecology center (KMEC) which is on the Hilo side of Big Island. A really peaceful place. I have been trying to watch the night sky to look for shooting stars, my hobby wherever I go. And I have been waiting to spot them for years with no success. The other day early during the morning I saw 1 of them passing by in a flash and I was delighted. But then I started to watch for more of them and observed 1 more, but still wanted to observe for more. Then it occurred to me... I have been waiting to see 1 for years, and I saw it but the desire didn't stop there. I wanted more of them. 

The way of human desire.

Sleep is Meditation

 Isn't sleep the same as meditate: the mind is inactive except for the part when there are dreams, but otherwise it's the same... no thoughts going on in the mind...all blank.. which is what meditation wants to achieve

The Ukraine War

 The war is going on in Ukraine right now and seeing the death and destruction, reminded me of this beautiful song from the bollywood movie Border, which I watched as a kid. I was so moved by that song as a kid that I learnt the whole song at that time, from my uncle's portable cassette player (we didn't have one as we couldn't afford one at that time). 

https://gaana.com/song/mere-dushman-mere-bhai

The song is about the doom and gloom and pain caused by a war. It's written very well. The beauty of the song is that it addresses the soldiers of Pakistan as brother and Friend. In the end calls for taking a pledge to not go for another war.

The movie though has elements of nationalism.

Some key points from the song:

* My enemy, my brother , my shadow ... these burning homes want to tell us something

* Why do we sow the seeds of guns and bombs in our fields (instead of wheat and rice) when in both our country's streets there are children who go hungry to bed.

* Until when will this python of hatred be alive at the border of the two countries

Coming back to the current war in Ukraine, it pains to see the bombings in Ukraine by Russia. Saw picture s of pregnant woman walking with blood on their face from a maternity hospital that was bombed.  I feel for them and the people of Ukraine. 

War is never acceptable.

But additionally there are these thoughts:

* There are wars going-on in many other parts of the world, but only why such media coverage only for this war? The world has become

* Does Russia's fear of the expansion of NATO closer to its territories, justify this aggression?

* When Russia does it, it is war mongering, expansion, aggression, but when US does it in other parts of the world it saving the world, and saving its interests. 

* I am glad that in this world of inter-connectedness the countries are pursuing different non-confrontational approaches (economic sanctions) of pressurizing Russia to end this conflict

* Happy to see all the support the people of Ukraine are getting from all people around the world (not just nations)

I hope this war ends soon

Advantages of Online Book wrt to Printed Books

Discovered this interesting comparison of online books vs printed books

 https://beautifulracket.com/why-you-should-pay.html#objections-i-know

The Arrival of Fall

It's that time of the year, when the trees she their leaves

It's that time of the year, when the squirrels hide the nuts in the soil

It's fall... the winter is coming and all are preparing for it

Action/Inaction and Changing the World

 Blaise Pascal said this:

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

UG Krishnamurti said this:

 “The plain fact is that if you don't have a problem, you create one. If you don't have a problem you don't feel that you are living.”

There is an innate emptiness in human soul, that craves for some external stimuli to fill the void. If we dont act/dont do something we start to feel that emptyness. 

We create things, which creates other problems and then we create solutions to those problems and those in-turn create more problems. And this spiral continues forever and we derive meaning from being part of this spiral. I do not know if its a converging or diverging spiral.

The best thing in the larger context would be not to do anything, but for most of us its not possible. 

You are one amongst them (Us)

हम भी ऊन्ही जैसे तुच्च है

हम भी ऊन्ही जैसे ऊच्च है

Is there anything that is Un-Selfish ?

The human self seems to be so strong an attachment, that it is impossible to do anything which has no motive of gain for "The Self". I observed my thoughts and my actions over some period of time and I noticed that almost every time it was to seek something that was profitable for the Self. I did something because I anticipated some gain for me, I wanted to help some people because I thought that was a noble way of living and thus make me a noble person, I wanted to be respected, I wanted to enhance my image of a nice person, I wanted to enhance my image of an honest person. I did something, because I was following "my ideals".  

When it came to my affinity for doing something in the social service sector, was not entirely to help the people who were in need, but also to gain some satisfaction of doing something worthy. So it was not pure. It was contaminated with the desire to satisfy the self.

The only thing that came close to being unselfish, was playing the role of a parent to my (this word mine is again selfish :-) ) daughter. I don't do things because I want to be good father,  I do because I think it will help her. I don't expect anything in return. 

As long as you are attached, you will not be able to do anything well. To have purity in one's thoughts and actions, one needs to be detached from the rewards and expectations. To make good judgements, one needs to be detached.

I recently saw the movie "Invictus", in which Nelson Mandela says "The day I am afraid to do that is the day I am no longer fit to lead." 

About the movie "The Village"

I happened to watch this movie called "The Village" by Manoj Night Shyamalan a long time ago. The plot had a lasting impact on me. 

The basic plot is like this (as far as I can recall): A bunch of adults unhappy with the way things were going on around the society, setup a commune in a forest and raise their families together, in order to keep the members not influenced/effected by the bad things in the outside world. They try by all means to keep the younger folks not get into the outside world, as they fear that their small commune would be influenced/corrupted by the bad things in the outer world. They keep their contact to the minimum with the outside world. 

But a few of the young folks are adventurous and inquisitive and want to explore the world outside their commune. And no amount of rules or emotions (like fear) can stop them from venturing out. 

In the end the elders have to give in. 

Many a times I felt myself in a similar situation. When I find some bad things in the world, I think what can I do. I am limited by my capacity to change the world, but being part of a society I find it difficult to make the compromises to my values. Then the thought emerges how about we find a group of like-minded people and live in a commune, the way it is shown in the movie. Then at least the number of internal conflicts would be far less. But the problem is that you slowly start to preserve the commune and want the next generation to live by your rules/values. Now you have created a society that others (the next generation) find difficult to be part of.

They don't share your experiences and your world view. Let them find what resonates with them. Let them be free. 

Solving a problem : Why vs How

Sometimes when we get stuck in a problem we can take two approaches. 

Try to find out "why" that problem has happened, go to the root cause of the problem and address that root cause. Sometimes this takes a lot of time and you might get stuck digging deep into the root cause. 

There's another approach that I read somewhere is about the "How". You don't have to know the root cause of the problem. As there are different solutions for a given problem, one can ask : How can I solve this problem differently? Is there any other way of overcoming this. 

I find this useful in some situations when I get stuck on the approach of Why. This gives a fresh perspective and results in progress. Sometimes you don't need to address the root cause. 

 An example: The problem of procrastinating. Why do I procrastinate vs How can I stop procrastinating.

The external is the reflection of the internal

It seems so true. The way we perceive the world is through our senses/mind/experiences/ideals. There is a lot of relativity there. When one is happy the outside world looks beautiful/hopeful, but when is down the whole world seems ugly/meaningless. Our state of mind seems to dictate our perception. Two different people with different personalities view the same thing differently. 

It's like a bunch of blind men, each feeling (for lack of a better word) a different part of an elephant and describing an elephant as what they feel. (And often coming to the conclusion that their definition of the elephant is correct). 

So if you want to see a positive world, you need to change your internal mental state accordingly. As many people in the past have told, if you want to fix the world, first fix yourselves.

Being in the present

Although "Being in the present" is prescribed as the source of happiness, it's very hard to follow that. Maybe meditation helps, but I am not sure as I haven't given it a try. 

Another approach that is often suggested is to be totally involved in the activity that you are currently doing, whether it's simple things like bathing, cooking, listening to music, working etc. But the monkey mind keeps hopping onto from one thought to the next and gets distracted very easily. I have failed at this miserably. I don't know if I have tried enough though. 

But I do observe that my daughter very often gets deeply involved in the activity that she is currently doing. Sometimes she gets so involved for a couple of hours in doing one thing that she isn't thinking of anything else during that time. 

As a kid, she doesn't have a good sense of time. She doesn't have to take care of common chores or do something based on a given schedule. Although she has an end-goal for that activity, she does not have a timeline associated with it i.e that she does not think that I need to get this activity done by this time. And she enjoys doing it. Maybe all these things help her remain focused at what she is doing. There is not a big WHY/REASON for doing that activity. She has nowhere to go. She enjoys the journey more than the destination. She just does it.

I am pretty sure most kids are like that. And I was probably like that when I was a kid. As we grow up we have tasks to do, run per schedules and live by some external assessments and then now there is social media, which make you live a life of pursuit, distractions, anxiety. Maybe as UG Krishnamurthy says, thought is the cause for all this, a thought of a better state, a thought which compares/evaluates/judges/reasons.... But without thought there is no life. 

I am 20

Recently saw this documentary on Youtube, in which someone interviewed people in the year 1967, (across the country) who were born around the day of independence Aug 15, 1947. And that's why the name of the documentary is : I am 20. It's nice documentary to look (without judging) what these people thought of India and its future and also their personal ambitions. If you observe you will still find many people in India (or in any other country) still having similar thoughts. So, inspite of being shot ~ 50 years ago, it still feels relevant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA8h74ZW8Ok

It's hard not to get impressed with one person who is very optimistic about the future of India and energized to be part of the Indian experiment. He appears to be very matured for his age and also so eloquent in conveying his thoughts.

Going through the comments led me to this article Midnight's Grown-ups. Someone did watch the video and was so impressed by it that they went on a search to track the people in that video. It's an interesting read. Apparently that likable/energetic chap settled out of India, and although the author was able to track him, he couldn't talk to him.

Coincidently, I came to know about Shailesh Gandhi while volunteering with AID. 

The conversation of Shailesh with her daughter, that he recalls was quite interesting to me:-

I quoted one of the young girls in “I Am 20”. “What do you want me to do for the country? I think I do enough by being an honest citizen, by doing my job to the best of my ability, by working eight hours a day.” Shouldn’t that be enough?

Gandhi mulled over this. “You know, my daughter talks the same language.” She left for America a decade ago, and on the eve of her departure, Gandhi told her, “Your life is yours, of course, but I hope that, after a few years, you’ll come back.”

“I want to live an honest, decent life,” she said, “and I think it’s difficult to do that here.”

“Many things are wrong in India,” he replied. “They need to change. But we need to change them.”

“But you’ve wanted to do that, and I don’t think you’ve been very successful,” his daughter said. “I don’t want to do that.”

Gandhi recounted this conversation to me. “She’s settled there now, with a husband and a child. But my feeling still is that it’s up to us citizens. Look, I love my wife and child not because they’re the best people in the world, but simply because they’re my wife and my child. If you feel that bond, then you say you’re responsible.” His voice cracked and shook. “Why should I believe in India? Because it’s mine.”

I'm free

 A couple of days back, on my morning walk I found a poem written on someone's memorial card lying outside. I liked it very much. Later when I searched for it online I found that, that poem is used for many memorials. Don't know who the author is though. 

Here it goes:

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free. 

I'm following the path God has laid you see.

I took His hand when I heard Him call.

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way.

I found that peace at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joys.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Oh yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much,

Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your hearts and peace to thee.

God wanted me now; He set me free!

I like these lines very much:

I turned my back and left it all.

Tasks left undone must stay that way.

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief. 

I interpret this as someone who has lived a content life. They don't have any qualms of the unfinished work, and ready to bid adieu at a moment's notice. At the same time happy for the happy moments that life has offered them. And advising the others living not to dwell on their death, as it's natural and part of life.

I am fine as I am

 For long there has been a discontent in me that I am not following my "perceived passion". I call it perceived because in order to know that it is indeed my passion I should have tried doing it... but I never did. But I know my heart yearns for it. That discontent only grew as I continued on my current path and I grew older. But as I read and thought more I realized that the passion is itself an attachment when you give it so much importance to it. 

If not following it creates so much discontent it sure is going to be a part of your identity when you pursue it and you will pursue it with so much vigor and passion, that everything else becomes secondary. But is there a problem with following your passion... I don't know. As Gita talks about "Nishkama Karma" i.e work that you do dispassionately but sincerely. There is no desire of some personal gain from that work. Then you know you are an instrument and not the subject and you will not attach much significance to you or your identity and it will not lead to the growth of your 'self'. Also, when you are in a pursuit you are always seeking something which is in the future and giving up your present.

That was a digression from the main point of this blog. 

I recently came across UG Krishnamurti and I found him interesting. Although I don't seem to understand much of what he says and hence can't follow, but there are a few things that are true. Following is text from JSRL Narayana Moorty's Introduction to U.G and his Teaching.

There is no problem with our present life. For thought there seems to be one because it extracts certain knowledge out of past pleasures and pains, compares the present with it passes judgments, avoids the present by concocting a future and pursuing it. But for the comparisons that thought makes there is no problem with our life as it is; and there is no other life. It is precisely our thought of a better state that prevents us from coming to terms with our life as it is.

And towards the end of the article he writes: 

In this muddle of U. G., ourselves, and his conversations or talks with us, we get all mixed up, get separated and get mixed up again, and we haven't the faintest idea of where this is all leading. Where does it, U.G.? 

It does not have to lead anywhere. U. G. constantly reminds us that it is the urge to know and to create a state of permanence that makes us ask all these questions, and when we quit them, everything will be all right, as it should be. You take what comes, and no questions asked. No one is there to keep a tally. No accounts kept. And what's wrong with that? Where is a problem there? What happens, then as U. G. says, would be none of our concern. 

 After reading this and some of what U. G. says, I have realized that I don't have to do anything great or achieve something to say that I have lived a fulfilled life. I am fine as I am. 

Granted, the society gives a great importance to people who have achieved something and they continue to live beyond their death because of what they have done, but it's the individual's thoughts/desires/aspirations or some other reasons that made them do what they did. Not achieving something does not trifle your life. It should not cause me discontent and inner turmoil. Just being is good enough. After all from nature's point of view, just being is good enough like a tree or a creature. You have fulfilled your role by just being there/just living. Rest all is the creation of human thought and societal conditioning.

This does not mean that I will voluntarily stop doing the thing I am passionate about. It means that I will not call it passion, but instead do it because I feel like.. not because it will give me a purpose to my life... not because it's a noble thing to do ... not because it will make me feel important in the eyes of the society.

Freedom of Inconsequentiality

The freedom that comes when you are aware of your inconsequentiality is limitless

An excerpt from Toni Morrison's Sarah Lawrence Commencement Address

It is possible to live without defending property or surrendering it, but we will never live that way unless our thinking is shot through with dreams. And it is necessary now because if you don't educate the unschooled with the very best you have, don't give them the help, the courtesy, the respect you had in becoming educated, then they will educate themselves, and the things they will teach and the things they will learn will destabilize all that you know. And by education I do not mean hobbling the mind, but liberating it; by education I do not mean passing on monologues, but engaging in dialogues. Listening, assuming sometimes that I have a history, a language, a view, an idea, a specificity. Assuming that what I know may be useful, may enhance what you know, may extend or complete it. My memory is as necessary to yours a you memory is to mine. Before we look fro a "usable past" we ought to know all of the past. Before we start "reclaiming a legacy" we ought to know exactly what that Legacy is--- all of it and where it came from. In the business of education there are no minorities, only minor thinking. For if education requires tuition but no meaning, if it is to be about nothing other than careers, if it is to be about nothing other than definiig and husbanding beauty or isolating goods and making sure enrichment is the privilege of the few, then it can be stopped in the sixth grade, or the sixth century, when it had been mastered. The rest is reinforcement. The function of tewentieth-century education must be to produce humane human beings. To refuse to continue to produce generation after generation of people trained to make expedient decisions rather than humane ones.