On Cherishing Life

 Entrepreneur and creative director Andrew Anabi on how to cherish life:

"When life changes, you will probably miss the way it was. You may miss those long morning drives or walks to the office, or those hectic family gatherings. You may miss them because those moments are finite — you will only travel those streets and see those people a certain amount of times.

Every time you do something that is one less time you do it. One day you will do something the final time and you will rarely know when that day comes.

For all you know, today might be the last time you walk in a particular neighborhood. Or it might be the last time you smile at a particular someone. To think otherwise, would be foolish. Nothing is guaranteed, except this moment. Your only real choice is to cherish every exchange like it is your last — because it very well might be.

Therefore, the best way to cherish life is to remind yourself of life's impermanence. It is to remember that every time you see someone that is one less time you see them. It is to remember that every time you go somewhere that is one less time you visit. By doing this, you naturally slow down. Almost like a reflex, you start to truly live."

I am a mere Instrument

 I am just an Instrument...

An Instrument of my conditioning...

An Instrument of the times...

An Instrument of my surroundings...

An Instrument of my thoughts...

And yet...

I have some Volition

And yet...

I am Responsible

A poem by Akshara

She wrote this last week (inspired by other poems/songs)

Insects, birds and even us too

We can all fly if we just try to

 

Fly with our family, our moms and dads

Our brothers and sisters and maybe even aunts

Grandparents too and maybe even you

So just try to fly like a little bird who flew

Over the mountains and oceans too

Over the deserts and rain forests that grew

This is all true but there is one thing you gotta do

And that is believe you can glide 

So much Noise

There's so much noise around us that we cant listen to the music.

If we can shut down our reception to all the noise around us we can receive the music. 

There's so much clutter in our lives as we don't know what we seek and in that confusion we add some more clutter to it. Remove all things that are not necessary and you will be left with what is essential. 

But what is noise and what is music? Is it just our perception? It's all sound, in the end. 

Sometimes during my morning walks, I close my eyes and listen to the tweets of the birds and at first what sounded like noise, now starts to sound like music.

The same thing can be said about our vision. So much haze that we cant see the reality/beauty around us. The colored glasses that we have on our eyes, distort the reality.

The pomegranate tree

On my run today, I noticed that the three pomegranate trees (can we call them trees?) have shed all their leaves. I wasn't aware that the pomegranate tree is a deciduous tree. 

Back in India, I had seen so many pomegranate trees and I think they were green always i.e in all seasons... but I am talking about Southern India where it hardly gets cold. 

So is this a case of adaptation?

Role of an Artist : Philip Roth

 “As an artist the nuance is your task. Your task is not to simplify. Even should you choose to write in the simplest way, a la Hemingway, the task remains to impart the nuance, to elucidate the complication, to imply the contradiction. Not to erase the contradiction, not to deny the contradiction, but to see where, within the contradiction, lies the tormented human being. To allow for the chaos, to let it in. You must let it in. Otherwise you produce propaganda, if not for a political party, a political movement, then stupid propaganda for life itself -- for life as it might itself prefer to be publicized.”

― Philip Roth, I Married a Communist 

When to Quit

Read it somewhere and is something that I want to remember

Imagine your child comes back from a practice and says: 'I hate karate! It's too hard. I don't want to do this anymore!'. Just tell them this: 'Okay, you can quit. But not today.' Then explain: 'We all have bad days when we want to quit. When something feels hard, our brain and body resist because they want us to be comfortable. But if we quit on a bad day, we will never become great at something and we might regret this later'.

'So here's the deal. You can quit on a good day. When you have had a successful day and still want to quit, let's talk'. 

This approach normalizes struggle (which builds resilience) and honors your child's choice if they want to try something else.

We all have these days when it's just too hard. To build resilience, adopt this mantra: Never quit on a bad day. 

Dichotomies of Life

 Of late I am realizing that life has so many dichotomies. Listing them here:

1. Individuality and Community
1. One needs to exert their ego/individuality but one needs others 
2. Purpose and Nihilism
1. There seems to be purpose to life but at the same time life doesn't seem to have any meaning
3. Selfishness and Altruism
1. On occasions people act selfishly but they also display Altruistic behaviors on other occasions

Your own way of living

Be courageous to chart your own way of living, however different it may be, but at the same time do not let that way of life, become an impediment in connecting with others who have a different way of living.

On Education : Maria Montessori

A few lines from the book "From Childhood to Adolescence" by Maria Montessori

To teach details is to bring confusion, to establish the relationship between things is to bring knowledge.

Since the human mind is mathematical and philosophic, we try, in reasonable proportions, to turn it towards mathematics and philosophy.

    

 During the course of our experiments with the elementary school childern, we have noted that it is exactly between the ages of size and tewelve years that the bases of all the sceiences ought to be contructed. Ther exists at that time a psychologically sensitive period that could be called "the sensitive period for culture", during which the abstract structure of the human mind is organized. It is at that time that all must be sown. One ocan compare this period of the human mind to a field where seeds of grain are thrown which then await their respective season to germinate.

The aim of education is to study all possible means to "sow the seed" at the suitable age. The "seeding" ought to interest not only the elementary schools but also the university, in the same way that the planting of flax ought also to interest the canvas-maker, since it becomes useless to have good instruments to work the raw meaterial if the latter is wanting.

Psychological life proceeds in the same manner. At certain ages an inner activity forms the roots of the first intellectual development, thus arousing enthusiastic reactions and awakening the capacities that, without such activity, would remain half-dormant. There follows the whole age of youth which develops these centers of interest. But if the seeds of knowledge have not been sown at the right season, only an inertia remains, which causes the child to balk at effort, and all study is sterile. One could say that it is when one has committed this sin against the laws of life that work becomes an arid effort, a sort of condemnation similar to that described in the Bible regarding Adam. Evidently it is not work, but work outside the laws, that is condemned by divine curse. It is thus that the student follows a dry course in a forced manner and without animation. A supreme encouragement would be necessary, a ray of light to call out the hearts that are withdrawn into themselves by inertia and error, to revive the languishing life. But it is not a dry school that can do this, one that underestimates the personality of the student and continues to aggravate the disagreement and inertia.

Therefore, even for the acquisition of knowledge the various phases of school have a common interest. Or rather, the higher schools have, with regard to the elementary schools, a concern with control. For it is in the latter that human energies are prepared.

The university professors, as much those of the sciences as of letters, will have before them ardent apostles, intelligent critics, and veritable collaborators in their students if these have developed normally. If not, they will have before them resistant, indifferent, and inert minds, disrespectful youths whom they will have to keep on a leash as so many young goats.

But collaboration is still more necessary when treating of the human personality in its totality, because man is thirsty not only for culture. Culture brings with it something receptive, while life is active and expansive and seeks creativity outside itself. Which is to say that to study is not to live; but to live is precisely what is most necessary in order to be able to study. 

 

 

 

 

 

Zeal

Life needs a Zeal ... but don't become a Zealot

Managing Oneself

As someone who entered into 40s recently and in middle-management and also mid-life crisis, this dated article felt very relevant. 

https://www.academia.edu/7660878/Managing_yourself_peter_drucker

Fall Colors

There are a bunch of trees in my neighborhood which has spectacular colors during the fall. I think one of them is a Spruce. During one of my walks recently I noticed that one of these trees had so many shades of colors : yellow, red, maroon, green a mix of all these. It was really beautiful.

Then it occurred to me these leaves are dying... there is beauty in death... or beauty is in the eye of the beholder...the leaves will fall from the tree in a day or two and will decay and the tree will be bare. 

As spring comes, new leaves will take their place. The leaves are giving way to the new generation ...every year the cycle repeats... the tree stays on.. until one day when the tree will die too

Movie Review : Prasthaanam (Spoiler Alert)

Prasthaanam is a wonderful Telugu movie with many takeaways for me. The acting by Sarwanand, Sai Kumar and Sundeep is great, the story is great. It exposes some of the bitter realities of human nature. At the same time some of the virtues too.

The hunger for Power

Loki kills Keshava enroute to taking him to hospital, for the sake of becoming the head of the village (i.e power).

Fleeting nature of sympathy

After Keshava dies, Loki (Sai Kumar) promises that he will stay forever with the family and take care of Mitra (Keshava's son) and Savitri (Keshava's wife), but Rama Naidu says that he is saying that only out of emotion and sympathy and it won't last for a long time. So he asks him to marry Savitri and only that relation will ensure that his grandson and daughter-in-law are taken care of. So he unwillingly accepts the proposal. This feels more real and a practical than going by the empty promises of people. 

As time and circumstances change and the pain/emotion is no longer there, people often forget their promises and their self-interest takes over other things.

Selfish love for one's (biological) Kids

Even though throughout the movie it is shown that Loki is impartial to Chinna (his biological son), in the end when the heir has to be chosen or when it comes to choosing one of them, Loki choses Chinna over Mitra, even though Mitra is the better of the two in all ways. 

Loyalty

Basha is the only person who knows that Loki had killed Keshava and he holds onto this secret for a long time. His loyalty to Loki is unquestionable. He discloses the secret only towards the end of the movie.

Love and Empathy

After knowing the secret that Loki (his step-father) had killed Keshava (his biological father), Mitra is shattered but he chooses not to disclose this to Savitri ever and also asks other not to do that, as that would totally destroy her, as she would realize that she has shared her life with her first husband's killer. 

In one scene, Loki says to Chinna that whatever he did in his life, his wealth was all for Chinna, but this is not entirely true. There's his desire for power that made him to do all the things that he did. Granted he wanted to pass on his wealth to Chinna, but there were some desires in him that propelled him to do all things he did.

There were many touching scenes in the movie. Mitra is wonderful character resembling the virtues that many of us appreciate.

Movie Review : Parineeta

I am a big fan of the song *Piyu Bole* from the movie Parineeta. I had watched this movie in around 2009 in the theatre when it was released. At that time I did not understand the movie much apart from liking the songs and the music. This is the movie that introduced me to Vidya Balan and Shantanu Moitra. Little did I notice the lyrics at that time. That was the time when I hardly used to pay attention to lyrics. Songs were all music for me. Otherwise I would have noticed the talent of the lyricist and would have known about Sawanand Kirkire at that time itself. Until a couple of years ago, I wasn't aware that there was a lyricist by name Sawanand Kirkire :-)

But recently I watched it online. Thanks to Youtube, was able to watch it by paying just as much as a coffee costs by sitting in my home.

I was able to appreciate the movie a lot now. I am older and more mature to understand the movie and I have a sense of appreciation for good movies now... I can categorize movies on the spectrum of good to bad based not just on the story and songs but also on other aspects like acting, lyrics, cinematography, script, direction, screenplay. Thanks to Anitha for this. 

I noticed the wonderful acting done by most of the crew, the effort made to create the settings to resemble the period of when the story was made, the lyrics of the songs reflecting the situation and gelling into the movie. The story... the dialogues between Sanjay Dutt and Vidya Balan at their first encounter... the love between Vidya and Saif. Sanjay Dutt's role was great and his dialogues were also well written.

I really enjoyed the movie. It takes interest and effort to create such a movie. 

Status tab in Whatsapp

The status tab in Whatsapp, like many other things is sometimes useful and sometimes not. It helps to see what others are sharing and be a part of it. Or you can sometimes envy what others are doing depending on how you see it and your on state of the mind at that time. And it's also one of the many other distractions that a smartphone provides. Like other social media.

For those reasons I thought I don't want it anymore in my Whatsapp. So I started looking to see if Whatsapp allows me to customize it, but I couldn't find an option on my phone. So I started searching online to see if I can hide it. But then it occurred to me : I have a choice to view it or not. How about I train myself not to click on it every time I open Whatsapp? Hence I started being aware of my natural (trained because of habit) response of my eyes noticing the dot next to the status tab and also my thumb gravitating towards it. But I refrained from tapping on it. It took couple of days, but now I no longer click on it. 

The solution was there within me,  but I was looking outside for it. Looking for a tool to fix the problems created by another tool. 

Often, you are in control if you exercise it. 

The Passing

 This too shall pass... I too shall pass

The complex systems of this world

This world is a very complex system. A system becomes complex when there are so many interactions between its constituents, that its impossible to predict the systems behavior at any point of time. It's just Random....Chaos. If you do not understand the system, then you cannot improve or change the system holistically. The human body is a complex system. The physical environment is a complex system. The financial markets are a complex system. There is so much interdependence that changing one variable causes unintended consequences on some other areas. That's why there is a belief that experts, cannot solve the problems of the world because their mastery is only limited to one field. They understand only that field well, but they have little understanding of the other field.

I remember the case of introducing wolves into the Yellowstone with an intended outcome. But over the years the way it changed the flora and fauna in that place was totally unimaginable. It was only understood at a later point of view. In this case the consequence is viewed as negative, but on a longer horizon of time will it be negative. Sometimes there are positive consequences and sometimes there are negative consequences.

Long time ago when I registered for a sustainable rural development course I was told that any social intervention could have unintended consequences outside of the desired outcomes. So we need to be careful when introducing any social intervention. I guess this was the reason for the introduction of field-experiments. You introduce the change in a narrow area/small section of the society and measure some metrics for a period of time that

This could be because a lot of natural things (humans/plants/geographical processes) are non-deterministic. Their output changes wrt to inputs and they adapt accordingly. In the laboratory you have a controlled environment, but out there it's not the case.

When a new technology comes in, I try to do an evaluation of what its impact is outside of how it is marketed. But often I end up in a dead-end and I finally have to admit that I am not in a position to evaluate it as a positive or a negative. I accept that I need to do a cost-benefit analysis of adopting that technology only within the purview of my small sphere around me. Generalizing it as a good or a bad for entire humankind is not correct and you can argue to the end of your life, but there will be both positives and negatives. I recollect the story of the knife: that which can be used to cut vegetables and that which can also be used to stab a person. The case of the nuclear bomb : To destroy the world and also to generate energy. The case of plastic : using it as a substitute for paper and also many cheap goods and at the same time the enormous waste in the landfills. Internet, the source of information and also mis-information. Social networks : Source of human connections and exchanges at the same time Bottom-less pit of time-sinks and envy. Technology/Tool is neither good nor bad. It depends on its usage.

A tool/technology/invention intended for one application, helps later in a different area. Microwave oven is one such example. I am unable to recall but there were some medical procedures which used ideas/inventions from other areas. 

In software we are now using experiments (A/B) to find if some feature/change that we roll out to users will be effective or not, because we do not know upfront if it will fetch the gains. For that we have some metrics to monitor on how they are behaving. I think we cannot understand the effect of the change because the public (customers) are diverse and each have their own preference and the way they use the application. As a company with very limited resources and time we cannot predict the outcome. But the metrics in the business are mostly ultimately tied to the bottom-line aka monetary gains for the company. When it comes to human societies it is complex. What can be done to increase the Per Capita Income of a country is a much simpler problem (but much debated on what mechanism to use capitalist/socialist etc.) ? But the changes that you do to move the needle up on the metric of per capita income can have impact on the other areas of life. For e.g the amount of damage we have done to the environment in terms of material progress (Industrialization/Capitalist systems/Consumerism) is vast. I am not condemning those mechanism, but I feel there's a disconnect, there's a lack of whole-earth understanding, and without that it will always be a cycle of problem-solution-problem. But I don't know the solution. It's impossible to gain any understanding of the complex systems of the earth and without that how will we truly understand the root of a problem and provide a solution (with overall positive impact) and also implement it for the benefit of all.  

Another perspective on Death

I believe there are only a few handful folks in the world who are not afraid of death. The crazy thrill-seekers, the mountain climbers come to my mind. But the vast majority of people living on this planet are afraid of death. Dying all of a sudden is not a problem at all as there is no time to even ponder about it, but not everyone is that fortunate. The people who are in the final stages of cancer who are notified that they have only a short period of life on earth. If I put myself in their shoes I would be so worried/scared on the limited time I would have. Because I am afraid that I will lose everything that I have built in this life, the material wealth, the human connections and finally the loss of myself (the identity that I call "I"). Tomorrow (after my death) the world will go on as usual, except for the near and dear ones who will miss my absence. 

But as per Hinduism, the death is only for the body, there is no death for the soul. The soul will find a new body (of any living creature). If for a moment you accept this idea (irrespective of its validity), there is a sense of liberation. If you (THE REAL YOU) is not really dying, it's just changing forms, then why even be worried or afraid. You are going to be there in a different form. 

Another related idea comes to my mind in the context of death. The idea of detachment. I somewhere read that detachment is not the idea of not owning anything, but rather not be worried/concerned at the loss of something that you used to own. If you apply that idea to death. You were born into a body, you owned that body for the period you were alive and then its time to leave it. Be detached from it. And you will be peaceful.

Quote: Saint and Sinner

Recently came across this wonderful quote:

 

 Every Saint has a past and every Sinner has a future